Celebrating The Holidays With Relatives Who Suffer From Dementia

For many, holidays are a wonderful time of year. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or something else, you no doubt have wonderful family traditions that include music, decorations, and food. But what if there’s an adult with dementia in your household? The holidays present particular challenges in that case.

Dementia is an umbrella term for a collection of symptoms that are caused by memory and brain disorders. According to Alzheimer’s Disease International, a non-profit association with over 100 member associations worldwide, dementia affects over 55 million people in the world. Almost half of all families in the United States have or will have a family member with dementia. Symptoms may include loss of memory, difficulty performing routine tasks, and changes in personality and mood. The most common form of dementia is Alzheimer’s disease, which affects 50-60% of people with dementia. Other forms include vascular dementia, Lewy body dementia, and fronto-temporal dementia. The stages of dementia are commonly described as early, middle, late, and end-of-life.

One reason that holidays can be so difficult for people with dementia is that there is a disruption in their regular routine. Overstimulation from color, sound, and visitors can create a stressful situation. Another family stressor can be that family and friends who have not seen their loved one in some time may be shocked by the changes that dementia has brought. Here are some tips to help as you plan for and work your way through the holiday season if you have an adult with dementia in your household.

Create a Safe and Calm Environment

It’s important to create a safe and calm environment for your loved one. Overstimulation may cause anxiety and distress in a person with dementia. Instead of a roomful of holiday decorations, consider placing a few simple, meaningful ones in your home. Blinking holiday lights and loud Christmas music can also be upsetting to a person with dementia. Families should be aware of the risks of wandering, particularly if there are family members and friends coming and going throughout the holidays. And plan your activities around your loved one’s best time of day. Many people with dementia are at their best in the morning or early afternoon.

Try to keep a regular schedule during the extended holiday season. Regular mealtimes, naps, and medication schedules are essential for maintaining low stress levels for everyone in the household. 

Involve Your Loved One

When possible, involve your loved one in family activities. Perhaps they can help decorate cookies or make holiday cards, depending upon their abilities. As cognitive decline progresses, it can become harder for the individual to recognize themselves or recall their personal history. Involving your loved one in family traditions that have been part of their life for decades evokes feelings of continuity, even if specific memories are blurred. One activity that many seniors enjoy is looking through old albums and photographs. These can trigger positive memories and bring joy. Research suggests that sensory experiences and familiar holiday activities may promote memory pathways, even in the later stages of dementia. 

Encourage Your Loved One to Participate At Their Own Pace

It’s important to encourage your loved one to participate at his or her own pace. If your family member becomes agitated or distressed, you can gently redirect them and allow them to opt out of activities. Not every tradition or activity will be suitable, so it’s important for caregivers to carefully assess the situation and the emotional state of the family member with dementia. 

Alert Family and Friends To Cognitive and Physical Changes

In the later stages of dementia, the person is likely to have significant memory loss. Recent memories may be completely lost. A person with dementia may believe that they are living in an earlier period of their life, and therefore do and say things that don’t make sense to people around them. They may be unable to recognize their loved ones or confuse one relative for another. In terms of physical decline, a person in the later stages of dementia may lose the ability to walk, stand, or get out of a chair.

Friends and family members who have not seen their loved one in this state of cognitive and physical decline can feel overwhelmed and distressed. Experts suggest that the caregiver prepare those who will be visiting over the holidays. You can discuss the changes with them and even offer current photographs so that families and friends are not taken unaware. You can also offer suggestions, such as asking the family member or friend to introduce themselves each time they interact with the person, and advising them to be affirming and validating.    

Self-Care for the Caregiver

Caring for a person with dementia is difficult and unending work. If you’re a caregiver, be sure to find time for self-care. This includes asking others to allow you some time off during the holidays. Taking a quiet walk by yourself, meditating, finding a moment for personal reflection, having coffee with a friend, or reading an inspirational book can all be ways to recharge at this time of year. 

Contact Davidow, Davidow, Siegel & Stern LLC

A well-planned holiday that takes into account the health and safety of the loved one with dementia can have a positive impact on the entire family. It can be stimulating and evoke a sense of tradition and continuity, allowing family members to connect in a meaningful way. 

At Davidow, Davidow, Siegel & Stern, we help empower older adults to navigate legal issues, obtain benefits, protect assets, and provide for their loved ones. We have been advising our clients for more than 100 years and are dedicated to serving the community. As Long Island elder law attorneys, we can help you with your estate planning, trust creation, and other senior-related legal issues. Contact us today to tell us how we can serve you.