Dear Clients and Friends:
Family dynamics are always interesting, like in the following case:
I am a financial and medical POA for my mother. I am one of 5 and my mother is widowed for a year. I was also POA for my dad that passed a year ago. All of my siblings are totally fine with me as the POA as designated by my parents when they did their estate planning, except for 1 brother. There are no issues with our estate and I am totally transparent, having family meetings often. He is just looking for control.
So the question is…he is pushing for dual POA and my mother is reaching a point where nursing home care will be required; I am told by our banker and many others that dual POA is not recommended…so can you tell me why it is not recommended and whether this will affect a Medicaid application community or chronic? Thanks, Mr. Davidow.
It is always easier for one person to make a decision than it is for two. The bank knows this and really only wants to deal with one of you. But this is really not about what is easier for the bank or for you for that matter. The most important consideration is what does or did your mother want? It seems in this case she chose you because she knew you were the most logical choice, the one who would get things done. Sometimes this upsets the other siblings, sometimes they are relieved that you are handling everything. The dynamics of the whole family have to be weighed by the principals (your parents), remembering that practicality (one agent) is sometimes outweighed by family psychology. However, sometimes having more than one means that two heads can talk it out and perhaps come up with better solutions. Every case is different. There is no one size fits all answer to this question.
The bottom line is that if your mother is still competent, hers is the only opinion that matters. If she is not competent, then this is all academic as she cannot change it.
I hope this helps! Please forward this information to your friends and relatives to share these informative answers to some very commonly asked questions.
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Until next time…
peace, health and happiness,
Lawrence Eric Davidow